Let the Dead Bury
Their Own Dead
This article was written in early March 2024, when I made a complete break from my biological family in my heart.
The most important thing is always to rebuild the individual, to restore the unique man created by God into a sound person.
If husband and wife are one, in this sense, the meaning of valuing the family is in fact the meaning of individual reconstruction. Two people become the minimum church, with the most complete commitment and the most complete dedication. Christ is there, no one else; Faith is there, nothing else.
So, in this sense, the marriage of my parents was not a real marriage at all. In fact, all the family units under Chinese culture are not real family at all. They are bonded by too many irrelevant people and considerations. This is why, even though Chinese culture seems to value family traditions, our families crumbled in the face of communist movements.
When I understood this truth, I no longer regarded my relatives as part of one big family. They are individuals who have completely forgotten the word of God. When faced with the ultimate question, they either choose arrogance and eventually lose their moral ethics; Or give up, and eventually lose the basic thinking intuition. Among them, it’s just a low-level fusion and dispersal between people, spinning in the same darkness.
In my father’s house, they consider themselves intellectuals and get used to arrogance. My father pretends to be carefree with the elegant posture of Taoism but deceived first his wife and then his child. My younger uncle is a member of the Communist Party, even more frightening, advocating the destruction of the spirit of contracts and praising defrauding other countries as a great wisdom.
While my mother chooses to give up, easily deceived by those arrogant people, becoming a slave and accomplice of Confucianism. But in reality, she herself is just a tyrant who only acts tough within her own domain. After overcoming my compromise with Buddhism, I no longer idealize my granny as a saint. Yes, she saved many patients, but she didn’t go to heaven. And I will not judge people with the dead any more.
But in myself, I see the same arrogance, laziness, and a terrifying complexity. I also see in the future, when I am nearing the end, I will panic and turn to all sorts of superstitions, too. This is truly tragic. Even though I now remember the word of God, with my limited reflective ability, it can only strip a few layers off me. I need to be shattered and rebuilt.
In the Bible, there were also many nations that had completely forgotten the word of God, and He turned away from them. But recently, in Ruth, I see a glimmer of hope: one arriving in a foreign land, loving those within reach. I can’t help but weep again. Lord, you responded to me days ago, but I am still very lost and confused, I can only put everything in your hand. Lord, I’m going do what they’ve never done before, loving others and being loved. Please don’t let me fall off!
Believers and unbelievers indeed cannot bear the same yoke, unless someone lies. Once I stop lying, I will be surrounded on all sides. And in these years, I have indeed almost offended them all, yet they regard me as a crazy person who has gone mad from studying too much, a traitor who admires some foreign cult, a troublesome witch.
Maybe everything I write seems sharp and ruthless. But the most important thing is to rebuild the individual, it is none other than myself. So, it’s just time for me to accept His words:
“Let the dead bury their own dead.”