Ex-colony
This was written in early February 2024 when my mother and I were visiting Hong Kong and Macao. We had quarrel over my Christianity, and I happened to recall the crap I heard in a fellowship gathering, so this article is quite emotional.
Regardless of fellowship or church, the purpose I participate in is simply to know Jesus better, not to fit into some secular group huddling together for warmth. If this purpose isn’t achieved, then neither is better. Whether in a small building or a grand hall, I refuse to fit into any man-made unity. This world won’t distinguish Christendom; we’re all in the same boat, but I’d rather make my home the church. God has clear and unmistakable words in the Bible, “I am the Lord your God,” and Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life,” What it is by Scripture, it is.
I don’t want to listen to man-made interpretations on Sundays; I don’t believe in a faith that can be dressed up.
I have a very clear understanding of the themes of suffering in the Bible, so I never think this world will get better and better. The Bible told us early on, after humanity left Eden, it’s been running toward judgment day, and there is no heaven on earth. I don’t pray much, at least not for peace and joy for myself; I can only pray “peace and joy” for others.
Most of my prayers are for repentance, the rest are for surrender, and for empathy, I can’t help but shed tears. The most innocent Christ suffered the cruelest torture, and the greatest contributors to the world’s welfare, Christians, face the most unjust ridicule and persecution. There is a great tension pulling me, I can not yet put into words.
People always need something to worship, but they are more likely to fear false gods or ghosts. Even those who call themselves “Christians” may, in front of Buddha statues or statues of various gods and ghosts, feel fear or even worship, knowing full well that idolatry is forbidden first. For them, God is nothing more than that, let alone those who have never received the revelation of God’s word in their hearts.
In former colonies like Hong Kong and Macau, there are giant Buddha statues, Tin Hau temples; in front of the ruins of St. Paul’s Cathedral, there is the Chapel of Our Lady of Rosary, and beside it, a plaque describes the achievements of Father Matteo Ricci in bringing natural science. The Nezha Temple is still thriving.
False gods receive countless incense offerings and worship, but have not nurtured theology, philosophy, science, or any disciplines, haven’t established any schools or hospitals, and haven’t produced charitable figures like Mother Teresa or Lin Qiaozhi. It can be said that they have no responsibility or mission to this world or humanity, and their so-called founders are all frauds and butchers. Regions where people like to worship idols and offer incense are often ignorant and backward. I wonder if tourists visiting London, Paris, or Venice in Macau have ever thought about this phenomenon. Is it really so difficult to have the basic judgment?
I can’t prioritize kinship over fairness. Calling me “worshiping foreigners” or “forgetting ancestors” (ironically, I spent more effort than them in understanding our ancestral history), it’s all a form of blackmail to me. The distinction between people is not based on blood, nationality, race, skin color, or class, but on ideology.
You can’t just teach me “weak countries have no diplomacy” and then simply advocate self-improvement; every dynasty had probably reached the highest level of prosperity allowed by the social system, obviously, self-reliance isn’t enough. You can’t just teach me “learn skills from the barbarians to defeat the barbarians” and give up exploring where their “skills” come from. I will definitely go investigate and understand how, from the ancient Greeks traveling to Jerusalem to see Jesus, to Paul bringing the gospel to Europe, from Augustine to Pascal, Newton, Adam Smith… knowledge comes not from human “self-improvement,” but from the inspiration of the Lord.
No matter how I am taught to curse “colonizers” and “aggressors,” to complain about our own “history of humiliation” or “history of blood and tears,” to glorify our ancient traditions, I cannot help but be grateful to Europeans for practicing “spread the gospel to the ends of the earth” with their lives and bringing my birthplace into modern civilization.
People here only accept science and technology, tools, and cleverness, but not the gospel, I can’t. No one gives credit to Christians, but praise a party for finally ceased massacre, I can’t; enjoying all the benefits of the world trades but breaking promises, calling oneself flexible while disregarding contracts, extensively smearing and vilifying who’s helped you, even relentlessly suppressing their youngsters, I can’t accept that.
I’m already a very cowardly and shameless person, if I have to become a rogue, scoundrel, or fool for the so-called “roots,” then I am truly beyond redemption.