Every Nation, Every Soul
Written on 2024 May 17. I learned a lot about the Chinese church during those days.
On March 31, 2024, which was both Easter and my 30th birthday, I welcomed a new life in the spirit.
Since childhood, my mother has constantly instilled in me the idea that “my birthday is her day of suffering.” But this time, my birthday falls on Christ’s Resurrection Day. I was born two days earlier than my due date. Had I been born according to my parents’ planned date, my 30th birthday would not have been on Easter. I know this is no coincidence—the Lord knew all along that He would welcome me home during this Holy Week, just like the father in the Gospel of Luke welcoming his prodigal son.
Lord, this is the most wonderful birthday gift. I am like a heap of mud that cannot stick to the wall, with faith that is easily shaken. Yet you firmly held me up, repeatedly giving me assurance in just two months. My faith has been strengthened by your persistent and tireless efforts.
The world thinks we follow you because we choose to believe in you, but in reality, it is you who have chosen us with your irresistible will. We cannot resist. We do not just believe; we are continually assured. This assurance is continually strengthened through life’s extraordinary experiences and through observing history.
During this time, I have clearly reached the next level. For many years, I sought God’s revelation in Western philosophers’ thoughts while considering Chinese intellectuals as a bunch of self-important lunatics. Now, I see how Western intellectuals have gradually obscured and usurped God, and I have begun to interpret my traditional culture through the lens of the Gospel. This work brings me great joy.
Qu Yuan said, “The road ahead is long; I see no end, yet high and low, I’ll search with my will unbend.” However, in reality, we do not need to seek high and low, viewing ourselves as superior in our quest. For the end is clear, we simply need to run straight toward that goal and walk the path of the cross.
Confucius said, “If in the morning I hear the Way, in the evening I can die content.” This is self-deception without any genuine inquiry into the truth itself, using truth as a prop for self-presentation. Moreover, Confucius had no way to determine whether the “Way” he heard was indeed the truth and worth dying for. Truth does not demand life because it is heard, but because it is believed and assured, requiring one to defend and witness to it with their life. If I consider Confucius’ statement pretentious, then if I, who am assured of the Christian faith, do not use my life to defend and witness to it, I am utterly hypocritical.
Similarly, Mencius said, “Wherever righteousness lies, I will go, though there are a thousand men, I will go forward.” If Christians understand what truth is, this statement becomes our mission. All my reflections and reinterpretations of my own cultural heritage ultimately fall upon myself, questioning whether I have the courage.
My name comes from “The Book of Songs: Minor Odes of the Kingdom: North Mountain”: “Under the wide heavens, all is the king’s land; within the sea-boundaries of the land, all are the king’s servants.” Combined with my surname, my name implies that the world belongs to the king’s family. This is self-indulgent and arrogantly delusional.
Fortunately, I have become a Christian and understand who the “king” is and to whom the world belongs. My name can be understood as praising the Lord, giving glory to Him. Otherwise, after my death, this name would be evidence of my brazen audacity when I face His judgment
Otherwise, the name is utterly ridiculous… because “North Mountain” in the Book of Songs, Minor Odes section, is about the poet complaining about being exploited like cattle by the ruler. It feels like that relative of yours who constantly rants against the CCP, but then takes his kids to the Forbidden City, lines up to put on the dragon robe, sits on the throne for a photo, and feels smug about playing emperor for a moment. My name is a true reflection of the intellectual commoner: if you say they’re uneducated, they pick such an obscure name; if you say they’re cultured, their dreams are all about dominating everyone else, like they’re no different from savages.
Thank you, Lord, for your wonderful intention in giving me this name and the Christian identity, allowing me to praise you by my name.
Recently, I have begun to delve into the history of Christianity’s introduction to China and the journey of the Chinese house churches. It is a history I neglected due to my arrogance. From every nation, tribe, people, and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. Since nations also bow and confess, there must be my country and people above me. God’s authority is above nations, and China is no exception. Moreover, because my country is the modern Eastern Egypt, Assyria, Babylon, it especially highlights God’s grace and forbearance.
In my homeland, I have seen Christians resembling cult members, Christians interpreting heterodox beliefs from the Bible, Christians exalting the Bible eloquently yet taking pride in joining the Party in their lives, and Christians worshipping various names of God while deliberately avoiding Jesus. But has this country not been drenched with the blood of preachers and paved with the bodies of martyrs? Has this country not been greatly blessed by the Lord?
My resentment and indifference were vast until I understood how the Lord led the Christians in this country through the Red Sea, walking on dry land.
Lord, I come before you to confess that I have been an angry youth for many years. I do not want to imitate your willing obedience on the cross, but dress it up as a kind of moral courage and rejection of my nation. I am deceitful. I am filled with anger and rebellion that you do not like. Please take them away and replace them with patience and obedience…
I know it must be a big project tho.